How can we Go on after the Class Clown is gone
by DarksideofManny
Summary: Laughter was always the best medicine to cover up his pain but when laughter wasn't enough he took his own life and now he has left all of Degrassi to cope with his deaf can they all deal with it or will some walk the same path he did.R
1. Default Chapter

Not every Class clown tale is a Funny one  
  
All James Yorke wanted was to make the pain go away and for awhile laughter was the best way but as things got worst laughter soon wasn't enough. Sure he had now become a part of the "Cool" clique but that wasn't enough to save him for home was for too bad for any clique or any girl to save him from and Manny O' Manny he had grown to actually love her but she still didn't want to go out with him. Maybe it was her thing for Craig; maybe it was that he was too immature, maybe he just a little brother to her but she was none if those things to him. He loved her but she didn't feel the same way.  
  
How did things end up like this? How was he in the situation he was in at this very moment? Jt standing in the Boys' Washroom looking at himself in the mirror with a gun pointed at his head. Jt knew it was now or never and he couldn't go on in this hell hole he called life.  
  
Jt paused for a moment then allowed a few tears to come down then closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.  
  
Manny who was frantically looking for Jt when she heard the gun go off the sound of it shattered her ears. She slowly walked over to the Boys' Washroom where she heard the sound come from.  
  
"Is everything okay in there" Manny called inside but didn't receive an answer  
  
"Hello is everyone alright" Manny said beginning to walk in  
  
As Manny walked her eyes grew wide and she couldn't stop herself from screaming as she saw Jt's head leaking with blood his eyes rolled into the back of his head. She couldn't stop herself from screaming and crying even when someone rushed in and grabbed her she still continued screaming and crying all once. 


	2. Devastation

Devastation  
  
All the students sat in the gymnasium talking, gossiping about what happened and why all the cops were at the school. Finally Raditach and Mr. Armstrong who looked like they were about to cry themselves walked out in front of all of the school and all the kids silenced waiting to find out the reason why no boys could use the bathroom, why their where cops all around the school.  
  
"Hello students I know everyone is wondering what is going" Mr. Armstrong started  
  
"Well one of your fellow students has committed...........Suicide" Raditach said trying hard to fight back tears  
  
The students went crazy speculating who it could be especially Emma, Manny was missing and so was Jt anyway she looked at she would be losing a still lost a best friend, but if it was Manny why I mean sure she had gotten an abortion but that was like four months ago everyone had forgotten about it and everything was going great for her sort of and besides she had herself and Jt in her corner. Or maybe....it was Jt but Jt that's Crazy he's always cracking Jokes playing Practical Jokes. But lately he did stop making jokes being so well....funny he's been actually quiet. Emma heart started to race, her palms became sweating and before she even knew she was breathing uncontrollably hard.  
  
"Emma what's the matter do you know who it is" Chris asked placing his warm hand on her now cold shoulder  
  
"No but where's Manny and Jt do you think it's....." Emma a started but Mr. Armstrong began again taking Emma's concrete back on him and Raditach  
  
"James Yorke as you all know as Jt" Mr. Armstrong started being responded to by gasps by both Teachers and students  
  
Paige began crying, Spinner still couldn't believe it, Emma just stared at the floor blankly not fully there anymore, not fully hearing anything but when she looked up she couldn't bear it she got up from her seat and ran off even with Chris trying to grab her hand to make her stay and Mr. Simpson trying to stop her himself she just pulled away and ran out.  
  
"Um.... Manny Santos who I found in the bathroom obviously stumbled across his body so I don't think she'll be in school for awhile do to the whole experience of it all so if we were thinking if you saw Manny would you try to send her, Your best wishes" Mr. Armstrong said talking over the few students who were tell in shock and whispering and chattering  
  
"Um.....Mr. Raditach can we do something special for him, like have a talent show or like a school memorial in his memory" Ashley asked looking over at Toby who was obviously devastated crying on Kendra's shoulder next to Liberty who was sitting with her new boyfriend Crying in his arms  
  
Craig himself felt bad he was a little hard on him especially when he saw him flirting with Manny, even though he said he and Manny were through he still cared for her and hated how much time they spent together after the abortion. He knew what he had to do he had to talk to Manny when she was feeling up to it he had to be there for her and........Emma. 


	3. MisPlaced Anger

Misplaced Anger  
  
Manny taped her fingers on the desk in the library as the police questioned her.  
  
"Can you tell me what happened again this morning when you saw James Yorke" The very young-looking Male cop which Manny had learned his name was Chris asked  
  
"I told you what happened a million times I don't want to talk about it anymore" Manny snapped at him she didn't want to tell the story over again it made her feel guilty made her feel as though maybe if she would gotten there sooner or if she hadn't turned him down so many times this wouldn't have had happened even though she knew it all wasn't her fault she knew there was more to what happened but her knowing that made her feel even more guilty.  
  
"We just want to make sure this was a suicide and that it wasn't accidental" Officer Chris said  
  
"What that he didn't go into the Boys Washroom wanting to kill himself what his fingers slipped and hit the trigger" Manny hissed at him  
  
"Manny we're just here to find out what happened to that Kid" He said placing a hand on her shoulder  
  
"That kid was my best friend since I was four okay four and I just saw his body in the boys washroom so I'm sorry If I don't feel like telling the damn sorry over and over again" Manny getting out of her seat and knocking over some papers and swinging the library door open really wide and letting it slam behind her  
  
Meanwhile back in the gym  
  
"Well I guess you guys have the day off to take everything in, I know this is really hard for all of you I'm sure you'll find support and comfort in your friends and Family and remember your not alone we all care about you here at Degrassi and if you need to talk Ms.Sauve the guidance counselor she is always here to talk" Mr. Raditach said dismissing the Students  
  
The students hesitantly got up from there seat some of the grade nines finding it hard to feeling as though they couldn't move and even some of the grade tens.  
  
Paige who hadn't stop crying since Mr. Raditach announced it was Jt cried harder and harder into Spinner's chest soaking his shirt but he didn't care he wanted to be there for Paige.  
  
"It's going to be okay for Paige" Spinner said patting her on her back walking her on the back as they walked out of the gym  
  
"Yeah how do you know that Spinner he was such a sweet kid he was there for me when I needed him the most and all you gave him was grief" Paige suddenly turning on him and walking away  
  
"Paige wait please Paige" Spinner called after but her brother had already gotten to her and she was now crying into his arms as he walked her home  
  
"What happened" A voice from behind him called which he immediately recognized was Craig's  
  
"I don't know man she just totally snapped saying I gave him grief and all I mean I know that doesn't she think I beating myself up enough for it" Spinner said turning to face him  
  
"Yeah I'm sure you're really hurting over this" A female voice said behind to which Craig saw was Emma and when he Spinner turned around he felt even more guilty she had witnessed all the times he had picked on him when he his grade nine even a little this year Craig had just come here last year he hadn't witnessed everything  
  
"That's not fair Em how was he to know that Jt would......." Craig started but not wanting to finish his sentence not wanting to hurt her  
  
"Like you know anything you just came here last year" Emma angrily hissed at him  
  
"He's right Emma I never wanted anything like this to Jt" He said pleading for her to believe him  
  
"Yeah sure" Emma said rolling her eyes and putting her glance on the front steps  
  
"Hey Craig Man I'm going to go home before everyone starts attacking me" Spinner said turning away  
  
"No you should go home and pray that somehow god can forgive for being apart of Jt's unhappiness" Emma yelled to him  
  
Craig grabbed on her shoulders spinning her toward him  
  
"Emma how could you say that he didn't mean for anything like that to happen it wasn't his fault"  
  
"So who fault is it" Emma said to him  
  
"It's......its Jt's fault he wanted to d...." Before he could finish his statement Emma slapped him  
  
"You knew nothing about him don't ever talk about him like that" Emma said turning on her heels and walking not out the school but to a familiar place where she could think to herself  
  
Craig quietly began to follow when he felt someone tap him on his shoulder he spun around to see Ashley he hadn't spoken to her every since the day she found out Manny was pregnant.  
  
"Hey how are you taking all of this" She said looking down at the floor then at him  
  
"Well I guess I didn't really know him but I do kind of feel guilty for the way I treated him"  
  
"He was a sweet kid, pretty funny too the people who are going to have it the hardest is Toby, Liberty, Emma and Paige but the person that has it the hardest is Manny"  
  
"Yeah I'm looking for her"  
  
"Well the last I heard she was being questioning in the Library"  
  
"Thanks I'll go check"  
  
"Well give her my deepest sympathy she isn't my favorite person but it was plain as day how close they were when they first came here they looked like they really cared for each other like brother and sister kind of"  
  
"Yeah well give my best to Toby" Craig said walking off  
  
"Thanks I will" Ashley said watching him walk away  
  
Meanwhile Manny was walking through out the hall almost hearing Jt laughing and talking to her she could fell the tears streaming down her face. She kept walking until she saw Jt's locker she ran her fingers over it and burst into tears as she slid down his locker. Manny looked out the door and saw all the students going home early one boy riding his skateboard looking just like Jt. Manny whipped her eyes she couldn't cry cause she knew she wouldn't be able to stop. Manny just sat there by his locker pulling her legs into her chest. When she looked up saw Jay and Sean walk past her and heard Jay making a nasty comment.  
  
"Hey cutie guess what I see dead people" He said cracking up but Manny noticed that Sean hadn't made a sound until he snapped at him  
  
"Man shut up that was her friend that just died that was my friend that just died have some damn respect" Sean said  
  
"Okay man don't blow my head off" Jay said bursting into laughter again  
  
"Man fuck you just go Man" Sean yelled at him  
  
"It was a joke loosen up Sean Man"  
  
"Just go" Sean said pointing towards the door  
  
"Damn I thought you had a sense of humor Cameron" Jay said leaving  
  
Sean walked over to Manny and sat down  
  
"Hey you okay" Sean said quietly  
  
"I don't think I'm going to know what okay is going to be for awhile" Manny said looking into his eyes  
  
"Well I'm sorry for Jay he can be a real Ass sometimes"  
  
"That's Okay right now I just wish I had Jt's sense of humor to make all this go away"  
  
"Yeah he was a funny kid" Sean said  
  
"Why the hell is everyone saying was he's only been dead what a hour and now everyone putting past tense on him" Manny said pushing off of the locker and getting up and pushing the Front door open  
  
"Manny wait" Sean said getting up from off of the floor and running after 


	4. The other Friends

Thanks for the few reviews I got anyway as some of you might know this takes place after "Accidents will happen" So Liberty's boyfriend that guy who hangs out with Sean and Jay sorry If I spoiled anything for the people who didn't want to know until they saw it.  
  
The others Friends  
  
Toby walked home with Kendra who he wished would have walked home alone he didn't really feel like walking with anyone he wanted to be alone. Kendra could tell Toby was hurting she didn't know what to do she wanted to say something but didn't know what to say. So she thought maybe the best thing he needed was just someone there to hold his hand to let him know she was always there to talk if he needed to. But when she tried to grab his hand he jerked it away.  
  
"Why are you here" Toby snapped  
  
Kendra was taken back by the question.  
  
"What.....do you mean" Kendra asked quietly  
  
"Why are you here when I clearly don't want you here" Toby said stopping a few houses away from his  
  
"Well because I know it must be hard...." Kendra started but Toby quickly cut her off  
  
"No you don't what friend have you ever lost"  
  
"Well Jt he was my friend too" Kendra answered defensibly  
  
"Oh Please you knew him for one year and a couple of months big deal not that anyone else knew him anyway" Toby said starting to walk again  
  
"Okay you're not mad at me your made at Jt" Kendra said running behind  
  
"Yeah so what if I am he was selfish"  
  
"That's not fair you don't know what was going on with him"  
  
"Like you know anything your just some little grade eight" Toby shouted out of anger not really meaning it  
  
Kendra looked at him hurt she understood he was hurting but he had no right to take it out on her she just shook her head and pushed pasted him. Toby at this point didn't care Kendra could be mad at him. Besides she just didn't understand how mad he was at Jt for being so stupid, so selfish. Toby looked at Kendra walked down the street and turned and walked into the house where he was greeted by Jimmy and Ashley sitting on the couch.  
  
"Um...Toby was that you I heard yelling" Ashley asked really soft and gentle like  
  
"No someone across the street was arguing" Toby said obviously lying and Ashley and Jimmy both knew it  
  
"Well how are you doing" Jimmy asked  
  
"I'm great couldn't be any better I'm going upstairs to play some video games hold all my calls" Toby said Joking and smiling  
  
Jimmy and Ashley exchanged looks  
  
"Are you okay" Ashley asked now concerned that he was in some sort of denial  
  
"I'm fine okay don't worry" Toby said starting up the stairs  
  
"Well Jeff and Mom are getting off early he said he wants to talk to you" Ashley yelled to him  
  
"Tell him don't waste his time there's nothing to talk about" Toby yelled back down  
  
"Toby your best Friend just died" Ashley yelled back to him waiting for a response but only being answered by the sound of his door slamming  
  
Jimmy looked at Ashley and she knew he was just as worried as she was.  
  
"I should go" Jimmy said standing up and walking towards the door  
  
"Yeah maybe you could e-mail or something, to see how your doing I mean I heard you invited him to a concert maybe that could have been the beginning of a friendship" Ashley said following him  
  
"Yeah you never know I just feel bad for the part that I played in being mean to him" Jimmy said  
  
"You weren't that mean I'm sure he didn't think of you as a bully" Ashley said giving him a hug and watching him as he walked away  
  
Toby sat his room boiling with anger he was so mad at Jt for leaving him and his friends. For people asking him how is he. Like he is suppose to feel anything Jt left him behind a long time ago but he still felt this emptiness, this sadness, this sorrow. Toby couldn't take it anymore all these emotions just coming at he. He just closed his eyes and rammed his first through his wall.  
  
Meanwhile At Liberty's house she was still crying but now on her Mom and Dad's shoulder.  
  
"It's okay Pumpkin" Her dad said patting her on the back  
  
"No it's not" She said crying even harder  
  
"What can we do for you" Her mom asked  
  
"Bring my friend back" Liberty said pulling away from her father and running into her room throwing herself on her bed and bursting into tears  
  
Sorry Liberty's thing was so short I couldn't think of much for her right now 


	5. And this Is just the first day

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the content wherein the show delves. I do not claim to, nor would I really know what to do with if I did. Check out Canada if you want to find the people who own the rights to it, though I don't know their names and I'm only assuming the Canada bit.  
  
And this is just the first day  
  
Manny could hear Sean calling after her but she didn't to talk for one she felt stupid that she blew up at Sean when he was just trying to help second she didn't want the whole it's going to be okay thing. Sean finally caught up to Manny.  
  
"Hey slow down I just want to say sorry" Sean said grabbing her arms  
  
"What for I blew up at you" Manny said not making eye-contact with him  
  
"Hey I get it you don't want to talk about it I mean I'm not big on talking either but if you do need........" Sean started but Manny just nodded her head stopping him from going on  
  
"So if you don't mind me asking do you still love Emma" Manny asked trying to get off the subject but having her own connection with the question. Sean looked at Manny questioning her best friend had died and she's asking him about his freaking love life.  
  
"I don't know she doesn't want anything to do with me so...." Sean said looking down at the ground  
  
"That's not what I asked"  
  
"I guess so I'm not really sure anymore" Sean said for the first time admitting to anyone including himself  
  
"Well if you do go for it life's too short" Manny said looking off to the distance  
  
"Yeah it is" Sean said staring at Manny as they walked down the street not knowing whether she wanted to talk about it or not  
  
"I knew" Manny said coming out of no where  
  
"Knew what" Sean said asking curiously  
  
"Jt wasn't happy maybe it's my fault" Manny said looking into the far distance  
  
"Manny you couldn't have stopped it" Sean said trying to make her feel better  
  
"Why couldn't I Sean I knew he was unhappy something about this morning didn't seem right , something about him didn't seem right I hate myself for what I let happen to Jt" Manny said looking down at her hands which were shaking  
  
"Manny you didn't let anything happen to Jt I understand your hurting........."  
  
"No you don't you don't what it was like to see him there lying on the ground with blood leaking from his head, when I first walked in his eyes just stared at me looking like they were pleading for me to reach out and save him they just rolled in the back of his head I .....Woooooooooo" Manny started but before she could finish she fainted Sean was caught completely off guard he rushed over to her and slapped her lightly a crossed the face calling her name but there was no answer he looked around him there was no one around he looked up and saw that Manny's house was at the corner he remembered it from a project Manny,Emma,Jt and himself got assigned to and they all walked to her house to start on it. He decided to just carry her home.  
  
Back at the School little to no one was there except Emma and Craig. Craig who was still looking for Manny not knowing she had already left and Emma who was in the gym looking at his Mascot outfit. Craig looked in the Library by didn't see Manny he decided maybe he could e-mail her when he got home. Craig decided to head home he was beginning to leave when he heard soft cries coming from the gym he knew that a lot of students would be crying this day but all the students had left. He slowly walked over to the gym and saw a thin blonde sitting on the gym floor holding a mascot outfit he knew it was Emma he got closer to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She jumped and let out a small scream.  
  
"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" Craig said taking a step back  
  
"No that's okay I should be apologizing anyway I shouldn't have slapped you" Emma said rubbing the head part on the Mascot outfit  
  
"I understand where you're coming from I had no right to say that about Jt"  
  
"Yeah you didn't but still I didn't have to slap you"  
  
"It did hurt" He said rubbing his face  
  
"Sorry"  
  
"I was joking"  
  
"Oh" Emma said looking at the ground but not smiling  
  
"I was trying to put a slight smile on her face"  
  
"I'm not really in the smiling mood you know my best friend just called himself" Emma said still rubbing the Mascot outfit's head not breaking her glance from it  
  
"Emma listen I'm sorry......"  
  
"You know I knew Jt since I was four in a half Manny met him first so they had the closer Relationship I was really jealous of them not really them him he had Manny all to himself I remember I told him I wished he would just go away forever...... I never knew it would hurt this much when he did" Emma said bursting into tears  
  
"I never wanted him to go away if I could go back I would spend every second with him I swear I never meant it Jt I swear please come back please" Emma said yelling throughout the empty gym Craig just sat next to Emma and pulled her close into him and let her cry into his shirt 


	6. The real Heartache sets in for Manny

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the content wherein the show delves. I do not claim to, nor would I really know what to do with if I did. Check out Canada if you want to find the people who own the rights to it, though I don't know their names and I'm only assuming the Canada bit.  
  
The real Heartache sets in for Manny  
  
A smile crept up on Manny's face as she laid on her bed dreaming.  
  
*Manny's Dream*  
  
She and Jt were running through the Degrassi halls they looked younger around the age of four or five and by the look of the bright sun it was hot out. They had water guns in their hands squirting each other. When Jt ran ahead of her and started to leave her behind.  
  
"Jt slow down" Manny screamed winning really  
  
"You just can't catch up slow poke" Jt said turning to her and sticking his tongue out and running backwards  
  
"I can to catch up" Manny said running faster but still not catching up to him  
  
"Prove it" Jt said running towards the Boys Washroom  
  
Manny began running as fast as she could and started screaming now realizing what he was doing.  
  
"Don't go Jt Please Jt don't go" Manny screamed at him  
  
"If you stop me before I go in then I won't be able to go remember you said you'll never forget me" Jt said still running  
  
Manny started running as fast as she could when out of no where Craig popped up.  
  
"Hey Manny want to go out on Friday I'm over the whole abortion thing you know" Craig asked smiling brightly  
  
"No Move Craig get away from me I have to save Jt this could be my only chance" Manny said running away from Craig when Sully and all his *cool* Friends showed up.  
  
"Hey Manuela I heard about what happened with you and Craig you know me and you can give it another shot" Sully said smiling stepping in front of her  
  
"Sully It's over I don't want to talk to you now leave me alone" Manny said trying to run away as Sully and Craig Pulling on her waist keeping her away from the one good thing in her life  
  
They did let her go but Jt was gone Manny hadn't heard anything maybe she wasn't too late, maybe she still could make. Manny ran faster than she had ever run in her life. When the ear shattering shot was heard. Manny slowly pushed open the door and saw Jt's body lying there just like it was when she saw it in school. But the difference was the little Boy who was a Younger version of Jt was still there looking at the body until he heard her crying and snapped his head up at her.  
  
"You knew, you knew about my mom and Dad but you were too preoccupied in your life, you forgot about me you said you would never forget about me and we would be best friends forever, you lied, This is your fault" The little Boy shouted at Manny  
  
Manny jumped up with Sweat streaming down her face she was shaking violently.  
  
She looked up and Sean and Her older brother were at the end of her bed. She was so happy to see that it was just a terrible nightmare.  
  
"What happened Whe.....Wh...Where's Jt" Manny said stuttering with a bit of hope in her eyes they would say something that would prove everything was a dream that Jt wasn't really gone  
  
Sean and Her brother exchanged glances which made the hope in Manny's eyes leave.  
  
"Please tell me it was a horrible nightmare, tell me he isn't really gone, tell me!!" Manny demanded starting to break into tears  
  
"Manny I'm sorry it wasn't a nightmare" Sean said trying to place a hand on hers but having her pull in back quickly Manny quickly whipped away her tears  
  
"No! No he can't be he can't be gone Your lying, Stop lying" Manny said bursting into tears  
  
"Manny I'm...." Sean said trying to make another attempt at it but failing as Manny cut him off  
  
"No! I don't want to hear it go, Just got get out I don't want you here I hate you" Manny shouted at him while her brother tried to calm her down  
  
"Come on Sean let's go thanks for bringing my little sister home" Manny's brother Matt said walking him out the room and closing the down behind so he could talk to Sean without the screaming  
  
"I didn't mean to upset her" Sean looking at the door still not believing what just happened  
  
"No it's not your fault she just needs time but thanks for bringing her home I was on my way when the school called our parents were at work so I was going to come pick her up" Matt said listening to Manny screaming and Crying  
  
"Listen I have to go but thanks for bringing her home and everything she said in there she didn't mean" Matt said placing his hand on his shoulder  
  
"Yeah I know well still tell her I'm sorry I'll let myself out" Sean said turning to walk down the stairs  
  
"Thanks" Matt said turning back to Manny's room  
  
Sean could hear all the noise as Matt opened the door. Sean let himself out and sighed when he got outside. "I hope Emma isn't taking this as bad" Sean thought to himself as he started to debate whether to go over there or not.  
  
Upstairs in Manny room she couldn't stop crying and that was the one thing she was afraid would happen that she would start crying and wouldn't stop. Her brother walked over to her and cautiously hugged her with her at first pushing him off and fighting him but soon settling down and crying into his arms.  
  
Sean walked home quietly he wasn't one to be emotional but after seeing what Manny went through it did cause a few tears to fall. Jt was a cool kid. If he himself let tears fall just image what was happening with Emma. He decided he'd put all his differences with Emma aside and see how she was doing he wasn't one to be all Mr. Superman but still he didn't want to seem cold not today not the day that they lost....Jt. Sean stopped in front of Emma's house and spun around when he heard her voice  
  
"Sean what are you doing here" Emma said standing with Craig  
  
Thanks everyone for the great reviews on the other chapters sorry if this was really overly dramatic I kind of always thought Manny should get those really dramatic roles. 


	7. Don't want you here

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the content wherein the show delves. I do not claim to, nor would I really know what to do with if I did. Check out Canada if you want to find the people who own the rights to it, though I don't know their names and I'm only assuming the Canada bit.  
  
Don't want you here  
  
"Sean what are you doing here" Emma said standing beside Craig  
  
Sean turned and looked at Emma then to Craig not knowing what to say to her he hadn't spoken to her the whole "break up" and didn't know if they were on good terms.  
  
"Um....I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stopped by" Sean answered softly  
  
"Well you stopped by now you can leave" Emma replied coldly  
  
"I just wanted to make sure you was okay I mean after seeing how Manny reacted I was worried" Sean said turning away to leave  
  
"I don't need you to worry about me and I don't want you here so just go" Emma said turning and running into the house past Snake and Spike who called after her to see if she was okay.  
  
"Sean wait up" Craig said jogging up to Sean  
  
"What" Sean said turning around angrily  
  
"Just give Emma some time she'll come around she just lost her best friend she has a lot going on" Craig said trying to make him feel better  
  
Sean finally stopped walking and turned to face Craig.  
  
"I know it's just I saw what it was like for Manny and I just worried" Sean sighing  
  
"What do you mean you saw what it was like for Manny" Craig asked almost cutting Sean off  
  
"Well Me and Jay saw Manny by Jt's locker and he made a stupid comment I told him to go to hell, and I talked to Manny but I must have said something to upset her because she just snapped at me and got up and left then I go after her and she starts talking Crazy about Knowing about Jt and His parents acting like It was her fault and she just faints I mean it was really freaky" Sean said explaining everything and Shaking his head towards the end  
  
"Is she okay" Craig asked sounding genuinely concerned which he hadn't felt for Manny since she got an abortion  
  
"Yeah I had to Carry her home when I got there her brother was on his way to pick her up so he just let me in and he grabbed her and took her upstairs to her room she was out for a good while but when she woke up things got worst, she was screaming for Jt and when I told her that he really was gone she snapped, Called me a liar and everything her brother thanked me and I could hear Manny screaming and Crying throwing things and everything so I just showed myself out I hope she's okay"  
  
"Wow maybe I should stop by see how she's doing" Craig said  
  
"Did you not hear what I said Man she's out of it right now I mean did you see how Emma was and she wasn't even the one who found his body.  
  
"Yeah I guess you're right" Craig said beginning to walk with Sean down the street  
  
Later that night over at Paige's  
  
She couldn't stop crying she hadn't cried so hard in her life not even during the whole Dean thing. Just the fact that Jt had helped her through the toughest time in her life made him wonderful the fact that she herself at first treated him badly at first stayed in her mind, had she had an affect on Jt's decision to kill himself.  
  
"Paige honey do you want something to eat" Her brother said first knocking on the door which was locked then calling through it  
  
Paige didn't answer which Dylan knew that meant she didn't want anything but to be left alone. She just turned over and looked face to face with the cute green Teddy bear Jt had given her when she was paid to take him out.  
  
Paige ran her fingers over it and cried harder remembering the look on his face when he found out she had been paid to take him. But soon a smile crept up on her face as she remembered his stupid jokes and the way he tried so hard to get a cheap feel.  
  
Paige jumped off her bed and grabbed her Yearbook and flipped through to the Spirit Squad section and saw a picture of Jt in his Mascot outfit. She smiled at the different pictures of him, sliding across the floor, dancing like an idiot, trying to back flip in his outfit she began to laugh a little with tears still streaming down her face. Then it was pictures of Jt, Manny and Emma. Paige had early tried to pull herself together long enough to talk to Manny about It all but she couldn't and she wouldn't know what to say to her even if she did if it was this hard on her it had to be a thousand times harder on Manny. Seeing her best friend since kindergarten dead knowing that if only you were a second early maybe you could have stopped him, feeling as though you didn't pay enough attention to him to see he was hurting she couldn't possibly relate, but still maybe she could say something. Paige picked up the phone it had obviously rung as she picked it up because she heard a Voice on the other end saying "Hello" the voice belonging to Spinner.  
  
"Hello" Spinner repeated into the phone  
  
"Hey Spin" Paige finally answered  
  
"Oh hey Paige" Spinner said relived that it was Paige who picked up  
  
"I just called to say that I know that your really upset at what happened but you have to believe that I never wanted anything like that to happen to Jt I mean I know I was hard on him but I still never would have wanted something like this to happen" He said coming straight from the heart  
  
"I.....Know Spin and I'm sorry I blew up at you It's just I don't know I couldn't believe he was gone and I had to blame it on someone" Paige said  
  
"I understand maybe if you want I can come over and you know you can talk to me or...." Spinner began  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea, actually I don't think us going out right now is a good idea" Paige said rushing to get the words out  
  
"What" Was All Spinner could mange  
  
"I said maybe we should stop seeing each other" Paige said beginning to break into tears again  
  
"But Paige........."  
  
"I'm sorry Spinner" Paige said hanging up the phone  
  
Spinner screamed Paige's name into the phone but all he got was a dead silence.  
  
Paige closed the yearbook and threw it on the floor. She grabbed the green Teddy bear and pulled her legs into her chest and cried harder. 


End file.
